I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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