you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
