you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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