3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
