The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
