i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This is my gift to your gina
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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