I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
