You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
