this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
