What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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