SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
