Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
