my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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