I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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