When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
