you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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