Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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