I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Come on in and take your pants off
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