I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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