I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize