people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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