What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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