Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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