Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
