smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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