...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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