yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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