I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
