Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
