needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
