So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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