I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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