drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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