those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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