Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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