Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
