dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
