yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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