thus making me awesome and them whores
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
