Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
