My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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