So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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