I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
