omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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