Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
should my penis look like a turkey
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
