I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
