Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
