Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize