I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
