You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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