She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
either way he was missing a nipple.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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