Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
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How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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