apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
