I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
