I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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