You can't special order awesome
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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