I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
