Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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