i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER