somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Are we still banned from the library?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.