That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms